Sunday, January 07, 2007


Qing's world has moved to

Sunday, December 31, 2006

The Last Entry

An excerpt from the conversation with ER5 on New Year's Eve. Confused: Ever felt that it is hard to be a Christian? ER5: Hard in terms of...? Confused: As in the feeling that u are torn and confused between what is expected and from the world's standard? ER5: Well.. of course! Confused: Then how u get ur balance? How u get ur stand? ER5: Well, everyone has different expectations of pple, whether or not they are christians. ER5: Personally.. i stand by own principles. And i believe we all grow differently as christians despite the fact tat we are christians and that we believe in the same things. Confused: ur own principles? ER5: Despite having said earlier, it is important for one to recognise that we are all different levels, at different stage of christianity. It is inevitable that sometimes my belief or viewpoint wlil be different frm other christians... Confused: Dat means...u are settling with ur set of standards...which is also man-made/decided by man...then, isn't Christianity of double-standard..? ER5: So, pray about it. Confused: Wait a minute, aren't we supposed to follow God's standards? ER5: No, don't get me wrong. U pray abt it and GOD will lead the way. I believe he leads u in the way in which u learn in the process and only in the process u understand GOD's std. ER5: Draw u a simple analgoy. It is like teaching. Sometimes, ever felt that it is useless if u give the students the final ans? ER5: Cos if they dun understand the process, they won't accept it and comprehend the final meaning. So same application here. ER5: Yes, we all follow GOD's std (final ans) but we must also understand and learn along the process... Confused: Ic... ER5: Well, dat's what I think lah. Not an expert in tis field. And not all the time my views and my other christian views are the same Confused: Okie. ER5: wat u think about tithing? Confused: Right now, I dunnoe... as my nick suggests, confused. hee! What u think? ER5: Welll... if u r a dedicated member of the church, i think it's okie to give. Where everyone contributes in their own way. U help in the progress of church (physically i mean..) Confused: Wats the suppose of tithing? Has it gotta be in money and cents? ER5: i always thought that tithing is used for the upkeep of the church? Have u heard or otherwise or wad r ur thots? Confused: i dunno the answer now... Confused: But i think tithe should be given with a joyful heart...and not as a compulsary act... I am not sure if tithe has to be in terms of money and cents... ER5: joyful heart i agree with u. Confused: Mabbe it can be in terms of service...(tis i dunno.) Confused: I have thought about tithing too... U see, tithe is a Old Testament thingie... I thought Jesus had paid for everything and that we should NOT be bounded by the act of tithe..or even feel less blessed or more guilty when we dun tithe... Confused: In the NT...not much of tithe was mentioned, i think. It should be an act of obeDience...and out of abundance..i thought... ER5: OKie... actually, i have been hopping churches in a way. So will only tithe when i settle down. But frm wad i know...or i remember reading says that everything we hve belongs to GOD. So when we tithe, we are actually returning part of it to him Confused: ya... ER5: Frankly.. this year.. have not been v faithful in my church attendance, so i go here and there though my NYresolution 06 was to be hve regular attendance. But wells.. resolution made and not accomplished. Confused: its normal, gal. We are not perfect... ER5: But some things happened during hols and it made me decide that i had to keep to my resolution. so ever since.. hve been going. Confused: care to share wat is it ? ER5: Well..more emotional stuff that goes on..was not sure abt where my life was going and i thought a looong time and just little things along the way.. that made me realise that hey! GOD is also trying to tell me.. or shd i say remind me that i need to be more faithful to him... Confused: icic. dats' good. :) I think I am going thru a similar stage right now. Lost and confused... ER5: well..speaking frm personal experience..pray abt it. ER5: but DON"t rush or push urself to think that u'll get the answer right away. Cos if u do so.. u'll feel worse..pray abt it n when HE wants u to know the ans, he will tell u. Confused: Ic...thanx. Really appreciate your advice. :) ER5: After all.. life also still goes on...and we can't stop everything just to find that ans we are searching for. ER5: when we do so.. we'll feel worse cos we'll be despeartely balancing everything... Confused: how long it takes for u to settle down again? ER5: Individual basis i think? It took me like a month to figure out everything... Confused: So, what did u figure? ER5: y i felt so lost and confused. and many things i felt just wasn't right. Then i realised that i should hve just left everything to GOD and not try to take things in my own stride. Confused: how did u leave everthing to HIM? ER5: Accept that there are many things that can't be controlled and dun try to figure out too much of the future. But believe that wadever u r doing now or hve, is wad he wants u to have. Confused: hee...sounds hard for a 'worrier' like me... ER5: dun worrie. Everytime u get worried. just tell him and leave it to him. u'll feeell a whole lot better. Confused: has it been dat easy for u? to just dump everything to Him? ER5: NO! ER5: i like to be in control of things... Confused: Same here... ER5: in a way.. i like to know that if i do my best then i'll be able to plan things properly.. esp in my life.. ER5: but nono..He has taught me..that u can't do that.cos u'll worry wad's next. So leave it to Him. He will guide u thru and He has shown me many times that when i leave things to Him, He will show me why things are such. Confused: wow...sounds really put down our human will. ER5: Yea, life is not easy. ER5: but that's why we have HIM always there for us. ER5: and frens and family members (: Confused: did u seek any help from people, besides pRaying hard to Him? ER5: Of course.. toking out to pple helps to. It's a temporary relief but it is still good. At least that's wad i do (: Confused: Who do u talk to? Christians? ER5: gd frens. Confused: they understand? ER5: Not all the time but toking is really a relief at least for myself. Confused: yea... ER5: ultimately who solves the issue is between u and GOD ..or so at least if u r a christian. Confused: so, are u trying to mean that since it is a personal rel between u and God, ultimately, we have to find where and how we wanna stand before Him...? ER5: yes Confused: BUt.....okie, so, if we think wat we okie before Him..answerable to Him..its fine?! ER5: It is wad GOD thinks that matters. And (in my own opinion) if u r doing sth wrong..he will show u in some way or other that it is wrong.. Confused: icic... Dun u get pressurised when u see urself not 'as good as' other Christians around u? AS in, u are not doing / thinking what seems more Godly...? ER5: i look at it the other way. i envy their strong faith and thinking and i hope to be like them. But i recognise i am not them and my path towards christanity is different frm theirs...and so i can only work towards being a better christian. Confused: And dat involves stumbling and continueing with His help and pRayers? Confused: So, IOW, God is more concerned with our process and progress...than of the destination? ER5:'s everything i think. COs without process and progress, u can't quite reach destination either. it all comes in a package. ER5: Well .. i can't say u will use all my advice or followings.. cos after all, we are different. but i've learnt that pray, tok to HIM and u will find it thru ur own way.. and that's how u can be a better christian. Confused: Ic. Really thank u for the advice. Really very assuring advice..really. :) ER5: well.. i'm also considered a v young christian in some ways..but we all learn along the way...

Friday, December 29, 2006


I will soon move out of Blogger and blog in WordPress, as it allows me to categorize my entries. .... Met up with YY and had a good sharing time with her. 2 days in a row, I had met up with sisters in Christ who had honestly shared with me their walk with the Lord. I am truly thankful for them. .... They reminded me to prayerfully find and choose my place. Lord, guide me to find in You my purpose. I realise a simple question like "Have you found Jesus?" can be very profound...

Wednesday, December 27, 2006


Stuck on the right corner of my screen was tis card that I took from the library. The cursive words stood out in the midst of white. It wrote "Find Yourself". Below this card is a small pick-me-up note that said "Trade God your pieces for His Peace". Really, what do I lose when I trade my brokenness in me for His peace? I have nothing to lose. I am more than willing to do this deal. Just show me what I should do. Time is in Your hands, Lord. I will learn to be more patient. .... I am very encouraged by what Sharon had shared with me just now. Yes, Lord, I am not alone. Not at all.
Blessed are the poor in spirit and those that mourn.
Matt 5:1-4

Sunday, December 24, 2006


ever felt alone? when the world seems to be cruising around u, jus like ani other normal day, but u are simply not involved at all? checked my hp regularly. no smses. dat's perfectly normal for any other day, but not today. so, everyone's bz, i thought. even my special one has not dropped by with a msg. wat a mood for Xmas' eve. doing my work in front of the pc, hearing the vehicles whizzing on the rain-slicked PIE... is there an upset that comes without a clear reason? i like idyllic. today that means couching on my bed reading an Archies comics. yea, my sense of idyllic is warped. suddenly thought of these lines that i read from somewhere: nothing goes right, but nothing goes wrong, and that is the great insipidness of time. ya...

Friday, December 22, 2006

True to myself

A 3-hour chat makes me wanna be true about myself. Eh..sounds funny, but who cares? whahha I think Qing is humane, serious minded, and idealistic. I see myself as independent, intellectual and logical (most of the times, esp if I am not carried away by emotions). Sometimes, I can be quite intuitive, contrary and unpredictable. I like to let my imaginations run wild (and see the humour and giggle non-stop). Ohyes, I laugh easily. I think a lot (nonsense or for good) ..and I enjoy doing that. :) I am more of a lone ranger...need to retire from the world at times to become temporary loner. I dislike confinement, strict rules and regulations. I can be a silent rebel. When I fall in love, I am willing to do anything (almost, lah, so long they dun go against my principles) for the person. But I get disappointed emotionally easily because of my own high personal ideals. I tend to expect too much from the other person...and that can be quite unreasonable of me. It's weird, but while I can be very forgiving to others, I tend to be abit too harsh on myself. It takes me a while to accept who I am. I sometimes feel that I am 'too smart' for others (actually, I am just a smart alec)...and can be quite impatient. Though I talk a lot at times, I am not verbally expressive. Lastly, I am a selfish person, a sinner saved by His Grace. .... Why not spare a few minutes to think about the real u? I wonder why God makes me tis way. Mabbe I should change the way I think. Instead of wondering why I am made tis way, i should think of how I can put my strengths to good I can better contribute to serve others.

Monday, December 11, 2006


亲爱的, 怎么说呢。。? 谢谢你。 谢谢你能体谅我有雨天 偶尔胆怯你都了解。。。

When would it be enuff..?

I was once asked how much TLC is enough for me. That reminds me of this song... 《戀之憩》 by 蔡淳佳 作詞:梁文福 作曲:梁文福 什麼樣的溫柔 才能輕撫你的傷口 什麼樣的思念 才能遷走你的憂愁 什麼樣的擁抱 才是你寂寞的盡頭 什麼樣的守候 才能被你接受 你的眼是芬芳的醇酒 凝著許多記憶的深憂 我是未曾醉過的溫柔 淺淺一嘗就不能罷休 你的眉是幽幽的港口 蹙著許多靜靜的綢繆 我是一個情感的水手 短短一駐就不願再走 別再說你能不能夠 只是問你接不接受 啊無言的你可知否 並非回憶才天長地久


我记得,也有曾经,某个朋友这样对我说过。。。 《花的話》 by 易桀齊 别忘了她 这样看着我说 她想到天涯 去看看 去走走 那是在三月 花儿正盛开的时候 要她不走 那时真难开口 世界很大 你不要去太久 我说 外面的路难走 人心险恶 要是说在外 若有不如意的时候 三月的花 想想他们吧 三月花 花有话 是我心里那些话 她是我无怨无悔甘心付出一生的牵挂 三月花 花的话 是我心里那些话 我在这花开的地方等你 回家